Child Capture Ltd.

New craze sweeps the UK: Child Capture!

According to figures released today by leading child protection pressure group MAAAOBC (Mothers Against the Abduction Of Blonde Children), over 10,000 children are stolen in the UK every day. Experts predict by 2050 there will be no children left in the UK. In the US where child abduction is much more prevolent only 1 in 10 children survive the first 20 years of their lives with their biological parents.

Child capture, began in the UK as a harmless hobby amongst the poor and disfigured in the early 1990s; a hobby no more, the practice has grown and now affects 6 in 10 intelligent and moderately well off UK children. Devastating statistics.

It is hard to pinpoint the average profile of a “child catcher”, however child capture specialist Vanessa Weltz from 24hour TV show “WatchChild” describes them as “Generally in the early fifties, normally with a history in showbusiness”. Head illustrator the UK’s current leading child abduction newspaper “The Daily Catch” sent us this rough sketch:

It is believed these child pirates sell our children on the black market to work as school dinner ladies and administrators in New Zealand; a country starved of young people and poor people to do menial jobs. Some have been found working as young as 16.

Something must be done to protect our blonde haired children from working long hours for little pay! Only this morning reports claim twenty children were abducted from a private school in central London. What seems perfectly clear is our children are never safe. anywhere.

You can do your bit, donate to the thousands of television and newspapers dedicated solely to reporting news on stolen blonde children, lobby the government for the permanent tagging of all children – and most important of all; keep your children in physical contact with you at all times.

LETS MAKE THE CAPTURE OF INTELLIGENT MODERATELY WELL OFF WHITE BLONDE CHILDREN HISTORY